The Sandwich Club

Like many of my imaginary colleagues, I have very fond memories of the burger joint on Oakton, between Crawford and Skokie Blvd. This place was known as Falafel King, and was the epitome of "ridiculously greasy and yet unbelievably awesome cuisine." As far as I can recall, at least. It was the the best thing in the world to 12-year-old me. The fact that The Sandwich Club took Falafel King's location (not through force, as far as I know) is what, more than anything else, has made me hesitant to try it up until now. I felt like I was betraying the memory of Falafel King, simply by supporting its geographical successor. Also, I don't like venturing too far in to Skokie for obvious reasons (the leprosy). However, after my years of recalcitrance, I've finally broken down and given them a shot.

The impression you get upon walking into The Sandwich Club is...well, it feels like a deli restaurant. Which it isn't (at least not by my standards of deli restaurants), however it's close enough to fake it. The service is good. Not exceptional, but definitely well above average. And the food is shockingly good. I went with a group of 4 people, each of whom ordered something completely different, and each of whom was thoroughly satisfied.

I got myself what they call a "Ru-Burger." It essentially is a burger topped with fried corned beef and sauerkraut. I've never had anything like it which I truly regret. Because that thing was fantastic. And the price was pretty reasonable as well. The burger comes with fries and a pickle, for under 10 dollars. And if you order a fountain drink, you get free refills (which is a policy that I happen to love in restaurants). I have not left a restaurant in the Chicagoland area as satisfied as I left The Sandwich club in close to a decade.

The only truly negative thing I can say about the Sandwich club is that the space is very cramped. And in their efforts to be able to seat the most people possible, they have exacerbated the sardine-like nature of the seating.

For the combination of fantastic food, good service, good value, and claustrophobia, I award The Sandwich Club an unprecedented-for-the-Chicago-area 4.25/5.

The West Coast Adventure Chronicles:

Recently, I took a trip to Los Angeles and to Las Vegas. While in these scenic locales, I decided to try out some of the local Kosher food. And yes, Vegas has scenery. It just so happens that the scene is usually a bellhop fighting a hooker over who gets the bigger cut of the money they just blackmailed out of a married businessman from Iowa (answer: the stripper, unless the bellhop is Swedish). To be fair, I don't have a ton of experience to call upon with any of these restaurants, so I'll just give little mini-reviews for each, based on my impressions. So here they are, in no particular order other than the order in which I visited them.


1) The Fish Grill

The Fish Grill is a chain of Kosher fish-based restaurants spread over the LA area. They manage to accomplish something that I've honestly never seen before: excellence. The food is very good, the service is fantastic, the prices are reasonable (for kosher food), and they offer a good deal of variety within their fishy framework. Whether you're looking for a heavily fried Fish 'n Chips, or a healthier option of grilled Salmon or Fish Tacos or whatnot, they seem up to the challenge. And they even have soups, including Miso and various Chowder! Although, the fact that they pretty much only offer fish-based food can make it a bit daunting. I mean, nobody can eat nothing but fish and not get sick of it. Still, fantastic restaurant. I'm giving them a 4.5/5

2) Jerusalem Grill

Jerusalem Grill is located in Las Vegas, on Flamingo Blvd, and is about a 15 minute drive from the strip. I found them online, saw their cheerful claim to deliver to any Vegas hotel, and decided to see what the in-person experience was like. And it was shockingly good. It was, without a doubt, the best middle-eastern restaurant I've been to in America. The service was excellent, the schwarma may have been the best I've ever had, and thanks to their lunch special, the price was beyond reasonable. For my personal experience, I had no complaints whatsoever, however I did notice that the food was a bit pricey if you didn't stick to the lunch special. Having no frame of reference for how often these specials appear, or whether they're always as good as the one I got, I'm going to call it in the blind, and give Jerusalem Grill a 4.5/5

3) Na-Na Cafe

Located in the Pico-Robertson area of Los Angeles, Na-Na Cafe offers....well, I'm not exactly sure what. Let's go with eclectic. An eclectic menu. Because I'm not sure what, if any, sort of niche their menu was supposed to have. Which isn't necessarily a bad thing. I've heard alot of good things about the place, and a lot of people seemed to enjoy it. So it may just be that I ordered the wrong things, but I was seriously underwhelmed here.

Me and a friend split the Pizza and an order of Mozzarella sticks. Both of those were...I don't want to say bad, but I need a nicer way of saying it. It was like when a child draws a picture of an elephant and you fawn over it, despite the fact that it is clearly closer to the scribblings of a one-armed dyslexic madman than anything resembling an elephant. You act like it's great because it's the best that the child, given their very limited experience and skills, could accomplish. And it's the same with Na-Na Cafe'. They're Israeli, living in LA, and they're trying to make Pizza and Mozzarella sticks. So who am I to complain when there's no actual cheese in the Mozzarella sticks, or when the Pizza is some sort of unholy amalgamation of thin crust and thick crust that embodies the worst qualities of both and the best qualities of neither? I mean, who was I trying to kid? I knew it wasn't going to be great.

That being said, people seem to enjoy it there, so my advice is go, and get something that you'd expect an Israeli or west-coaster to do well. But for me, I'm giving it a 2.5/5


So that's it for my west-coast adventure. Now I'll get back to some local Chicago Kosher for a bit. Although, I'm gonna be heading out to NY in a couple months for a friend's wedding, so an east-coast-edition may be soon on its way. Keep an eye out. It will be the one that explicitly mentions that it's an east-coast-post.

Tein Li Chow

I can hardly remember a time when it wasn't common practice for Kosher Chinese restaurants to have ridiculously bad puns for their names. And nothing says "terrible pun for a name" like Tein Li Chow. For those of you who don't know, Tein Li is Hebrew, and translates to "Give Me." Chow means chow. As in food, not goodbye. So the name is a bilingual/stupid-slang way of saying "Give Me Food." Ridiculous. That being said, they serve food. Which I will now discuss.

Tein Li Chow is located inside of a Jewel Osco, roughly on the corner of Howard and Kedzie, just over the border between Chicago and Evanston. They serve primarily the generic "chinese food" that Kosher Chinese restaurants tend to homogenize portions of Cantonese, Szechuan, and Hunan cuisines into. Tein Li Chow is made unique by both their willingness to make just about any substitution or allergy/health accommodation you could ask for, and by the fact that they are strictly a take-out joint. And the food is pretty good too. The meat is always tender, the vegetables are usually fresh. In terms of quality, they excel.

That's not to say, however, that it's all Hunky Dory (for instance: Tein Li Chow is a restaurant, while Hunky Dory is a Bowie album). While the food is good, they offer very little variety. It's not that they don't have a full menu, it's just that alot of the different dishes can be quite same-ey. Essentially, they have about 8 entrees which they then dress up in different ways until they look like 30.

And also, there is the extremely prohibitive price. They have monthly specials which help with this, but ultimately those specials always fall into the category of "mostly noodles," or "mostly rice." If you want a dinner portion from Tein Li chow, you're looking at about $20 per entree, and that's not including any soups or drinks.

What I've found my main beef with Tein Li Chow to be is that they are fundamentally at odds with themselves. They offer take out food, inside of a convenience store, and yet expect people to shell out prices that would seem a bit high at a nice classy sit-down restaurant (where, by the way, you would likely get free water and a soup or salad with your entree). Ultimately, the good food is overshadowed by the lack of variety, and the ridiculous price. I would give it a 2.5/5, however I think that the amount of substitutions they are wiling to do, including making things wheat free for Celiac sufferer's, or taking out vegetables for those allergic, or even just making things with less salt should earn them an extra point. And so I give Tein Li Chow a 3.5/5.

Great Chicago Food And Beverage Company

For those of you who are unaware, The Great Chicago Food And Beverage Company, located on the corner of Kedzie and Devon, began its existence as a Roger's Park outpost of the at-the-time vastly popular Ken's Diner. And it served Ken's food with fried chicken as a bonus prize. Like the cholesterol in the bottom of a cereal box. I don't pretend to know the reasons why Great Chicago eventually changed hands, but I do pretend to have immediately tasted the difference. I've been back there a number of times over the years, each time thinking that I'll give it another chance and hopefully be shocked by their awesome prowess. This has happened twice over the past decade or so. What I've gathered in my Great Chicago ordeals is that the food is never the same quality twice. If you happen to luck out and get there as they're making a fresh batch of popcorn chicken or fries then you're in for a pretty decent meal (assuming you order one of those items). But by-and-large the quality just doesn't live up to my strict standards of tasting-better-than-the-raw-chicken-in-my-freezer. Also it's always sticky and dirty. So, for now, I'm shutting my optimism down on the ever-present pariah that is Great Chicago.

For the two times I've gotten good food there, I'll award it a 1.5/5

Good Morgan Harbor Grill and Fishery

Good Morgan has been serving up fresh fish to the Chicago Jewish community from their location on Devon Avenue for at least a decade. And I can say that I've almost always enjoyed their food. So I was excited when I heard that they were opening a whole restaurant right next door, and for the most part, I wasn't disappointed. The food was pretty much what you'd expect from a place opened up by a fishmonger right next to his fish store. Which is to say, the main ingredient on the menu was fish. Though, it must be said that Good Morgan is the only fish store I've ever been to that never actually has any sort of oppressive fishy odor. I tried a little bit of sushi and the Fish and Chips. Both, I found to be delicious, though a bit excessive in the price department. Also, I thought that the concept of a nice fancy restaurant (with a polite and charming staff who does their best to get you to ignore the slowness of the kitchen) was somewhat ruined by the lack of its own entrance. In order to get to the dimly lit restaurant side, you actually have to enter through the fish store. I don't know whose idea that was, but I can't imagine that they can claim a full set of working brain cells.

In the end, despite the expense, slow kitchen, and odd entrance, the quality of Harbor Grill makes it a solid food choice, and earns it a 4/5.

Tel Aviv Kosher Pizza

Tel Aviv has been a Kosher Chicago staple for as long as I can remember. Right off the corner of Devon and California, it was situated in what used to be the heart of the Chicago Jewish community. And truthfully, you can get a large amount of food for a relatively reasonable price, which is sadly uncommon. This is all provided that you're willing to suffer the poor customer service, odd hours, sketchy looking kitchen staff, and refusal to allow payment with credit cards. Although, in their defense, the reasonable prices make their credit card policy slightly less insane than other restaurants who follow that mantra.

In the end, Tel Aviv's combination of scuzziness, inconvenience, and value gives is a score of 3/5.